Weird? Moi?

So the beast from the black lagoon appears to have ‘tagged’ me with some silly chain letter/meme style nonsense. I’m going to do it, but I can’t be arsed to pass it along.

Anyway, basically Its just putting 6 weird things about yourself. I’ve been having paroxysm’s about this all day (and I’m not even sure what that means) and trying to work out how best to do this. I don’t think I’m weird. I think i’m normal, I must be…I’m the only yardstick I can accurately measure myself against. I often wonder what other people would think if they were allowed in my mind, and I’m not sure how different I am to the others around me…but as I can never fully know. I have to assume that everyone else is as closely connected to reality as me.

Anyway, the point is that weird is in the eye of the beholder. I seem like a weird freak of nature to some and a paragon of virtue to others (okay, so that last bit is probably a lie).I did A level Psychology, which means I’m fully qualified to talk nonsense about definitions of abnormality. I looked it up on wikipedia to refresh my memory of the traditional definitions of abnormality and there are (handily) 7 definitions of abnormal. I’m going to find something of me for all of them…making it just one more than required…lets see how this goes.

Thanks to wiki for the reminder of the details…my definitions of abnormality are paraphrased from what they have on there.

Weirdness 1:

Statistical Infrequency:

So, I don’t have many statistics to hand, but I don’t think that there are that many guys with big curly hair with three mis-shapen and unwanted dreadlocks in the back end of aforementioned hair. I’m definitely the only one in the house at the moment. I guess it depends on where you take your range from. Erm…lets think of something better, this is a bit lame so far. OK, how about this…I’m probably the only person in the world who has the following four records, all of which I enjoy thoroughly, right beside him right now: Anything Goes (the Cole Porter Musical), Greatest Hits of the Police, Imitation Electric Piano – Trinity Neon, and Abbey Road by the Beatles. Oh, and I’m listening to Orbital. Is that enough? How about minimum wage earning graduate barely making rent each month who is mostly happy with his life? Is that abnormal?

Weirdness 2:

Distress:

Uh-oh, what’s causing severe distress to me right now? Well…I had an argument with my significant yesterday and that could be bad. It might be near the end, but I don’t want to admit that yet. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about this right now as significant and a lot of mutual friends read this blog and I don’t want to make things awkward. Still…its just about the only cause of distress in my life right now.

That and the fact that just after we parted company yesterday I almost got ran over…that scared me a lot. Oh, and I’m mildly hungover, but I’m used to that so it causes less distress.

Weirdness 3:

Morality:

I have no morality…is that abnormal? No, most people that know me even vaguely no this to be untrue. However, I don’t know whose morals I should be taking into account here. My own? Okay, I’m supposed to be vegan but I ignore it when it applies to alcohol because I’m a big ale fan and lots of them aren’t even veggie, let alone vegan. That breaks my morals, is that abnormal enough? By other people’s morals I’m probably Satan himself. This week I have already taken drugs, drunk to excess, committed adultery and am currently sitting semi naked in my room long after morning has broken on a work day. However, I think all of this is morally fine as I am not aware of having hurt anyone in that period (apart from possibly significant but once again I don’t want to talk about that). I tend towards moral relativism in my more sceptical moods anyway, so that’s weird in itself.

Weirdness 4:

Maladaptivity:

What do I do that is counter productive to my own well being? Hell, what don’t I do. Running out in front of cars just because there’s a green man indicating that it is safe seemed pretty maladaptive yesterday. Erm, no…that’s just not weird enough. How about, I have been known to dabblein hallucinogenic drugs despite the fact that the first time I did this I had a mental break that lasted what was probably at least a month. My memory of that time is fuzzy though. Anyway, I dance with madness occasionally, despite the fact that I’ve gone over the edge more than once. But nobody tell the doctors or the law…they’re always trying to lock me up (your not paranoid if they’re really after you….unfortunately..i’m paranoid).

Weirdness 5:

Violating the standards of society:

I believe in civil disobedience as a necessary form of protest..does that count? Ok, how about wearing skirts despite being a guy, that gets me funnny looks sometimes. Erm….let me think. I stink? Some people seem unhappy about that. I often walk down the road whistling or singing and generally being in a good mood, even when not drunk. That seems out of the norm. I don’t really break the law that much…but you know…that tends to vary from day to day. Anyway, I don’t do anything I consider weird in this category (this may have been true of lots of these).

Oh, I like gabba and breakcore…does that count?

Weirdness 6:

Causes discomfort to those witnessing such behaviour:

This happens a lot, the skirts, the DJing, the Breakcore. The smiling. Feeling comfortable enough about my sexuality to be able to admit that I’m not gay (I just never seem to fancy guys…its actually quite irritating) but would shag Ian McKellan if I had the chance. I also seem to have lost all self restraint recently. Last night at a small party with people I mostly didn’t know, I ended up singing along to Karma Police by Radiohead in the style of someone grunting and moaning their way through severe constipation. The discomfort was enough that they changed the song. I got some funny looks (and a couple of laughs) and decided to leave not long after.

Weirdness 7 (Bonus weirdness):

Diagnosable Mental Illness:

Did I mention that I don’t talk to Doctors because I think they’ll try and lock me up. So that’s paranoia at least. I’ve had at least two full breaks from reality…the latter I went to a doctor and got some Temazepam (I hadn’t slept for two weeks) to knock me out. I soon pulled myself together enough to realise that the doctor should never have given me the pills he did. (I had mentioned to him I was grieving and he ignored the bit that says it shouldn’t be given to people who are grieving as it might interfere with the grieving process. Nice one Doc. Also he neglected to check whether I was addicted to drugs or liable to have an addictive personality…and I sure as hell do. What do you think keeps me on the internet so much? I’m trying to stop smoking (well…cut down a lot) and I needed something else to replace it with.

Anyway, its a good thing this is the bonus, as I don’t really have anything that’s been diagnosed. I’d be surprised if I didn’t have a tendency toward schizophrenia, possibly with bipolar and maybe even incredibly mild autism at times….but I avoid the people who decide these things.

So there we go. I hope you enjoyed that. That ended up much more honest and open than I’d like really. Shouldn’t talk about these things…but I like to imagine I have a duty to my readers. Yeah…erm…I’m not really crazy…just a little weird.

And like I say…I’m almost entirely happy with my life these days. I’ve not been able to say that for years. Even when I\m feeling down I don’t feel too down…I know its temporary. This is good.

I’m not pasing this on, but anyone who found it interesting should do it…honestly and openly.

‘If you dare to show your heart we’ll nod a head to its beat.’ Saul Williams- Black Stacey (I think…I may also be misquoting it).

Any questions?