All these thoughts…..

So, this is going to be a bit scatty even by my standards. Loads of stuff keeps on flying through my mind the last few days…I’m just going to jot some bits and pieces down to keep the desperate howling hounds at bay (Sahil…I mean you).

This isn’t one of the big articles I have planned. I’m stuck at work but don’t feel in a very organised mindset and so don’t want to try and write anything even remotely coherent. This could get weird. Messy head and a fast typing speed can be a heady mixture.

Anyway, this may well be a post about nothing…so if you don’t roll with that (why am I using so much ’street lingo’ today…I don’t mean in this post…just all day..I swear I’m trying to be street and that doesn’t make sense…I’m the least street person there is….curly hair doth not maketh the cool. As nobody ever said).

Anyway, Kay (the fearless leader of the Brighton NaNoWriMo squad of literary monsters) and I had breakfast this morning, because I had attempted to steal her scarf and she wanted it back (not the real story). Anyway, this filled my head with all sorts of high minded (or not) writerly ideas. Kay is an inspirational beast indeed. She did quite a thorough job of convincing me that not only could I be a writer (and possibly take over her role next year) but that I should to both of these things. She’s only read a little scrap of my novel, and I don’t even know if she thinks I’m that good. But that’s not the point. If I keep on writing, then things can only get better. Blogging and novel finishing is a good start…but there’s got to be more.

I’ve decided on my own that I’m going to start doing flash fiction every now and then. Then I might start slowly building up to a more ordered (though always disordered) system of targets and things. If I know I have to write then I will.

So waht must I do…start starting new things on a fairly regular basis. Finish this damn novel and THEN read it…decide its crap…and still edit it…learning, learning, learning. Look around me more. This one started naturally, Kay commented on it in people who do Nano and I agreed wholeheartedly.

You start writing some big piece of fiction, and it provides you with a more objective viewpoint. Not always..but it gets you used to seeing human relations (and anything else you can see and experience) from the point of view of a writer. This is a strange point of view. My writing style (I think) kind of breaks into little commentaries on silliness and random asides…this is on a two way street with my day to day life…where I find myself giggling at everything because I’m following the random chains of thoughts in my head.

Life for me is random…mostly fun…but sometimes confusing.

I have definitely had too much tea today…however…this means I really want another cup of tea.

This shift could last a long time…i’ve still got four hours and forty minutes to go…and already I’ve had two teas and my head is full of rubbish.

Where was I?

Anyway…I feel like I can write now…Not well..but that’s not a problem. I know I can write…everything else can be worked on. I get compliments about my writing…I don’t receive them very well but I get them. If someone other than me enjoys the way I write…then that is great.

As I see it I’m currently in a great experimental stage of my writing evolution.

So…I can’t remember when it was in evolutionary history (of the Earth..not of me)…but it happens every now and then…so it isn’t even just one event. Whatever…I’m pretty sure there was one in the Pre-Cambrian era. WHat are you talking about Alabaster? I don’t know.

I jest.

Basically at certain moments in history, there has been a giant wipeout of life on earth (an ele for us fans of Tea Leoni), which has left most of the world dead and barren. (I’m not doing research today, sorry, but look up pre-cambrian explosion if you want to hear whether I’m truth telling or lying…on your own head be it…I am not the sooth sayer you seek).

One day I’ll learn to stop rambling in parentheses.

Anyway…so loads of life dies…which seems bad…but in fact as long as something survives, then the whole thing explodes.

And not a bad explosion either. Basically, because competition for food is greatly reduced (and all the dead things mean four course meals for the few survivors) so the rules of evolution change slightly. Without competition random mutation can occur. The lack of competition means that survival is easy. Who needs to be the fittest when everyone around is getting so fat. Eventually it slows down and the evolutionary tree becomes more canalised again. Competition is enough that things die out unless they can survive the hard times as well as they did the fat times. Or something.

Anyway…basically variety is good. So even these big catastrophes caused greater variety. One of these variations was (presumably) what eventually became the branch that became me (and the rest of us too). So these big events of destruction lead to change and refreshment of the gene pool. Excitement and difference emerge.

This is actually kind of the initial spark behind a lot of what I’ve been writing lately. In a way.

Anyway…the lesson I like to learn is that life goes on.

For me Uni was a little bit like a cataclysmic event. It kind of wiped out a lot of who and what I was. But not in a bad way. I learnt a lot. I started on a slightly different path…but the writing sputtered to a halt. I was still writing essays of course. I was even enjoying them at some points (though I do regret never pointing out the similarities in the ideological motifs of Robert Carew’s ‘The Rapture’ and Ringo Starr’s ‘Octopus’s Garden’. I swear they are basically the same poem/song…just slightly different era). But as far as creativity was concerned…nada. Two short stories for a short fiction course…one of which has already appeared on these not so hallowed pages (and is overdue for editing). The other one was absolute toss.

Anyway…I feel like now I’m out of the institution I’m finally finding my feet. I won’t call it an explosion yet…just in case it doesn’t work. But I feel like I’m coming close to figuring out some big stuff for me. I may not end up as a writer…but I’m finally starting to work out how I really work. Not just in the prescribed environment of the educational establishment, but in the wild world. I’m motivating myself to do things. This is a great innovation in my life. I’ve always had the odd little project brewing. Suddenly I’m blogging vigorously, spewing novels at breakneck pace and having ideas. Real genuine ideas.

I’m a big believer in mental mulch. My whole brain is a big chemical compost. Only more organic. It’s amazing when it works. My worst writers block during November was broken when about six divergent thoughts came together to spontaneously solve my problem. I need another one of these epiphanic moments to finish off…but I actually think I can see it heaving over the horizon.

Something to do with King Kong.

Hmmm.

This may not make sense to you, but I was talking to the ex vegan ex earlier and trying to summarise what needed to happen. She had no ideas…but it still got me thinking. (In fact..she said the Frost Giant should put a finger in her ear…but I don’t think that’s quite the key I’m looking for).

Anyway….I’m in an experimental stage at the moment. I want to try and write as many different types of things as possible. Suggestion, prompts, challenges and inspiration/motivation are always welcome. I’ll try and do anything that anyone suggests (though management does reserve the right to refuse entry…or whatever is relevant in the situation at hand)

Anyway, I’m quite enjoying this.

Where did I get with that big near extinction crap. I don’t fear the apocalypse you see. I reckon we’ll get roughly what we deserve (unless we figure out a way out of it…which I hope is the right way out of it…there’s a lot of possible futures). I don’t welcome death…as I don’t know what happens after….but I don’t really think that there’s some urgent need to save humanity from its own destruction. It would be cool if we could learn from our mistakes and build a better world and a better future and figure out how to do everything right. I just doubt it is all. All this saving the Earth stuff has actually just been about saving the humans…preserving the eco system. I think this is a great idea…but at the end of the day impossible. I do believe in conservation and I do want to save the environment. I also like cute little animals. Don’t get me wrong here. Hell, I even like big ugly animals. The lunacy of the world is incredible.

Watching a wild life documentary (the BBC’s Life in the Undergrowth series…my kinda nature…ugly and weird) I saw a giant caterpillar hang from the roof of a cave and actually grab flying bats out of the air and eat them. Now that…my leet friends, is truly pwning.

Anyway, in fact the only reason we’re likely to change is because it is becoming bad business to kill of the world. I remain optimistic about individuals, but pessimistic about the grand mass of humanity. We might figure it all out…I’m not planning on holding my breath though.

Where was I? (My coherence is not being helped by customers at work…as you can imagine).

Basically, if we kill off ourselves..and most of the rest of the world…something will survive, and there’ll be a new kind of thing ready to fuck up an/or save the world. This is all cool with me. I wish the next dominant force in the world better luck than we had.

This is definitely a rather scattershot post…I’d like to know what you guys think. But I still am not done with you yet (unless you stop reading…but now you’ve got this far…you might as well persevere…yes).

I hope to start touring a few genres. I want to write some hard and soft sci fi, I want to see how I can handle horror, maybe even satire…. try being a bit more literary. Try doing drabbles and the like…or just random flash stuff. Try setting some things in the real world. Definitely going to do more insanity (well…trying to write it down I mean…I get plenty enough of that in the real worlds).

There’s fun to be had over yonder…and I swear I can get there. Inspiration is the only thing I can’t learn…and I just need to wonder around to get this.

Oh…and Pandora is good. I’m getting some good fun from my Venetian Snares radio thing at the moment. Its the unexpectedness that I enjoy about it, the music and the website. I don’t know what’s coming…even if its crap at least its a change. Change is good.

Oh…and I’m going to write an e-mail to them Sonific people trying to get them in touch with all the good labels…I really want to put some tunes on here by the artists that keep on cropping up. The dedicated readers (Sahil) will know that I spend quite a lot of time listening to and thinking about music…now if only I could actually play this stuff to you…then you might realise whether I’m talking crap or not.

Learning is always good.

Experiment also.

Life is good…but only if you struggle to see that.

I have definitely had way too much caffeine.

Hope this has proved enjoyable…

Any questions?

PS…I’ll add some links to stuff into this later…there’s a lot of stuff I should’ve posted links too already, but I’m not really in a research mood right now.