Dress to Impress
So, I was following a bizarre trail through the webterworld and stumbled upon a thought provoking post or two by a fellow wordpress wanderer (wonderer?).
It made me think about how little I’ve talked about gender recently…and how much I talk about in reality. I think my friends are starting to get bored of me by now. It’s amazing how little most people seem to care about these things, though I see them as the root of a lot of the problems with certain parts of modern society. Well…that’s a bit over the top…but I think there’s a lot of things that need to be looked at. For me it’s the most important part of the feminist agenda, and the bit that most needs to be discussed, if only because lots of things are so unclear.
Like that last paragraph…I didn’t actually say what I was talking about did I.
Ooops.
Well.
So I believe that Gender is constructed by society. Well…most of it anyway. I personally think that there are biological differences, some obvious, some less so. But at heart, the key weight of the personality types and associations attributed to either men or women, is at least an exaggeration (and a generalisation) and much more likely simply a fabrication.
One of the more obviously arbitrary things that divide the sexes is the clothes worn by either.
We wear different clothes in various different contexts…from ball gowns to tracksuits…from tuxes to tutus.
Now. In day to day life, women will look fairly normal wearing a guys clothes. Occasionally they may be accused of being tomboys or laddettes or some similar term…but generally speaking they will still be assumed to be ‘women’. A man wearing anything specifically feminine however, a dress, a skirt or whatever, becomes a crossdresser or transvestite. The associations of these clothes are with feminine sexuality. Whilst masculine clothes, apart from possibly the traditional suit and tie combo, remain fairly open to interpretation. It is worth noting however that a woman in these clothes will often be seen as trying to take on the ‘masculine’ attributes of power or strength or whatever bullshit (I’m thinking of the powerdressing shoulder padded female executive stereotype).
Anyway, the point is that certain clothes are associated with either sex..and therefore associated with the attributes associated with that gender. Dress=Femininity=Sexiness. Now, in fact, there’s some truth to that, like many ‘feminine’ clothes dresses are often cut to emphasise and draw attention to the shape and curve of the bodies underneath…often exposing them.
Now…in fact, while men may not have all of the curves needed to fill them out, the same effect could be produced. A dress in a sexy fabric, which draws attention to the flow and curve of a man’s body…could make him look sexy. He could be made to look more desirable by his clothes. This wouldn’t necessarily be making him look more like a woman, it would just be emphasising the shape of his body.
Now this could be seen as making him into an object of desire, although it really depends on what you’re attracted too in a partner.
Now. I sometimes wear a skirt or something similar. It draws attention to my (sexy) hips and ass. I think it looks good, and I enjoy making a visible statement about the fact that I don’t really believe in the codification of ways of dressing men and women. It has nothing to do with my sexuality, or at least nothing to do with my sexual orientation. Now I think that most people realise this, but then if I was dressing further across the spectrum, I think it would become increasingly likely to be misinterpreted.
I think that more fluidity needs to be had between the genders. Especially in dress. I think more men should be willing to dress in ways that they want to…and this shouldn’t be bogged down with an assumption that they are taking on weaker attributes by doing so. Also women should never feel like they have to dress more masculine (or more feminine) in order to be respected.
There should be a freedom. Sure some clothes are always going to be sexier than others…or more authoritative…but they shouldn’t be tied to one gender…and particularly, they shouldn’t be used to reinforce negative stereotypes.
Gah…I’m really not being coherent here…I was hoping to reach ground I haven’t previously on this topic…but I seem to be a bit too distractable at the moment (I can’t write serious long posts at work as I’m always getting interrupted by people and noises…bloody customers).
Anyway, next time you see a guy in a dress, be sure to tell him he looks good (assuming he does) but don’t assume that means he wants to be seen as a woman, or that he’s your object…and what the hell…don’t do it to women either. Be more open to the variety of people that this world can brew up…they’re almost all wonderful in some way.
Gah…useless post…sorry.
Ask me questions and I might be able to clarify what I’m getting at.
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I stand by my assertion that the necktie is one of the primary tools of capitalist patriarchy out there. Not only does it point to the penis, but it manages to emulate a confining noose whilst doing so.
I also think most companies have some kind of pecking order in regard to tastelessness of ties. At entry level you have to wear something simple and pleasant on the eye..but as you scale the company hierarchy you are forced to wear more grotesquely patterned monstrosities. Paisley at middle management, and either abstract expressionism or vomit colour/patterns at executive level.
Maybe
I once read somewhere that the primary difference between Greek men’s clothing and Greek women’s clothing was that the men wore longer skirts. Robert Graves describes something similar in “I, Claudius”. He implies that the Roman tradition was very strict, possibly including social and criminal penalties for cross-dressing.
The wearing of kilts as everyday clothing on men in my area of the world is becoming different but unexceptional. Though not in our minus-double-digit winters.
I feel that much of the difference in women’s and men’s clothing, and possibly the nudity “taboo” today has roots in the “don’t squeeze the melons ’till you’ve boughten ‘em” philosophy of male-female relations.
Female clothing (and to a lesser extent but gaining, men’s) is designed to conceal and to flatter. You may think it’s revealing (without going into why so many women look smokin’ in a turtleneck sweater), but mostly it’s like a magician’s “nothing in my hat–see?” misdirection. Men’s clothing, I think, used to be more about expressing social status outright. Both types were for luring the opposite sex.
But whether I’m right or wrong, there’s no dammned excuse for wearing your sweat pants and a tube top to Wal-Mart. Particularly if you’re 300 lbs.
The turtleneck effect is indeed a wonderful phenomenon. I don’t think I was trying to say that all women’s clothing was revealing..more that it. At least the more ‘feminine’ style of clothing is designed to accentuate (ie flatter) what is there. Very few men’s clothes do this.
That and the free play of signs and signifiers making me want to play with whatever symbolism I can.
I think trousers and power are recent phenomenon, there are plenty of men in the eastern side of the world that normally wore dresses and robes, may be with a pair of pajamas underneath until western influence took over. I’ve seen the fashion industry indulge in putting dresses on men, sort of voluminous and beautiful and not just a parody/ haute couture type thing, and they looked sexy mainly because they were sexy men and professionals and able to hold themselves up in the spotlight, I can’t imagine a regular guy carrying off something like that.
I have a couple of pictures I can scan and show.
Well…I ain’t that sexy but I can occasionally pull it off…..though that’s just my rather distorted opinion.
I just don’t have the cojones to do it most of the time.
Hey honestly if I saw a guy in a dress, unless he was a dancer I’d take sometime to get used to it.
I normally subtle it down a bit…like a pair of trousers underneath…it may make it less extreme, but then it also doesn’t expose my pasty chicken limb calves.
Aww…
I don’t think you can offend anyone :-)
I think you’d be surprised at just how offensive I can be…bare legged or not.
Do you really wear a skirt?
Hmm. I had a friend who used to wear a long skirt out and he wore it with great aplomb but the guy was an unflappable piece of work anyway . Shucks, there is a name for this sort of skirt but I can’t think of it offhand as my current state of mind is somewhere between cognizant and zombie like. It was like one of those wraps you spot on women lounging in hot tropical locales…
Anyway, he inadvertently courted a lot of jabs, jeers and press from others near him - I could hear the frenzied whispers from the confused onlookers who probably thought he was an unadultered queer. Which, by the way, he was only a part time sodomite (not saying this has anything to do with men who desire to don skirts - but, well, just saying).
To continue…
This skirt proved itself quite dangerous one evening as we worked our way into the upper echelon of some trendy pretentious club and sat VIP near the window among the plebians. I forget what caused him to anger but to my horror he ended up pulling up his skirt and sticking his ass right out the window and into the line of sight of several onlookers and the club’s doorman slash bouncer. He immediately turned to go up the stairs and fetch us so he could give us the big ol’ humiliating boot out of there…Needless to say, we made our way through a back door and fled the premises before that a public lashing could take place.
So perhaps it’s not wise for impetuous minded fellows to wear skirts.
Surely it’s the impetuousness of the ass itself that caused the problem. The skirt is rarely the instigator of these things (though they can facilitate the process).
Oh, and do you mean a Sarong? Or Cullotes?
I have no idea what Cullotes are…but I’ve heard of them. Though they are coming up as a spelling error…so I might be lying.
Anyway, as for me…I don’t wear a skirt often, and, as I’ve said, normally only in company I’m fairly familiar with. Plus Brighton’s a fairly open minded place for that kind of thing…most of the time.
I favour a tight little miniskirt (or occasionally minidress) worn over trousers. I’ve talked about my legs before and its really not something that we should keep bringing up. Hence the trousers.
Occasionally a longer skirt goes down well (though I normally have to borrow). It is certainly refreshing in the summertime.
Like I say…I think it should be a fairly standard fashion option. They can look good and emphasise physically appealing attributes (or conceal the opposite) on both men and women…so why not.
Thanks for the story L’il Miss Stiletto. Bought a smile to my tired face.
I am not sure how I would feel if I were to see a man in a mini skirt but I’m sure the ol’ expression, seen one seen ‘em all, would be applicable here just as well. The words “easy access” come to mind. However, I the occasional perv would miss seeing a man in pants because as it is a thing to behold when one catches an eyeful of big fish swimming in that small pond of a trouser. It’s quite, er, revelatory, especially when it’s someone you’re interested in. It fuels the fantasy of unzipped disclosure!
BTW, you are quite welcome!
PS It was a sarong. A long green one. And I think culottes are sort of like Bermuda pants.
Like I say….the trousers stay one if it’s a mini. So it’s not really any more revealing.
The..ahem…big fish looks really strange in a skirty pond though.
Even if it’s just a ‘pants-tent’.
Erm..
Yeah….bulgy skirt is a little weird…that’s all I’m saying.
Well hey that’s the reason scots are so damn sexy. To me anyway. There’s something about guys who are shamelessly willing to wear what’s basically a skirt and still go “i’m more of a man than you are” which the scottish are very good at as well I mean they all think their so bloody manly.
Unfortunately some of them are so damn right. *Sigh*
the scottish can be damn sexy. Gerard Butler in Particular
Women with that light lilting Scots accent (the light one…as seen in several Belle and Sebastian tracks..not the really harsh abrasive accent) basically have me on my knees in seconds.
I think I have a thing for accents.
I always assumed the reason kilts were manly was because of the nothing underneath in cold weather….nobody needs a North Sea Breeze noodling around their Knackers.
Anyway, welcome Saf, good to see you stopping by and I hope you’re well. It has been a while I think. You still ploughing away at them Dragons or have you finished yet (it was you with the dragons wasn’t it? I do get awfully confused.)
[...] post by Alabaster Crippens [...]
It is true that clothes indicate gender. But there is alot more to gender than clothes. And the negative connotations about a man wearing a skirt are well known.
Hopefully society will lighten up some.
Einstein once said - The progress of a society can be measured by how much freeedom it allows the individual.
And that applies here. If we want society to progress and improve, there must be more room for individual freedom of expression.
Carolyn
Gender is indeed sooo much more than just clothes. Constructs of different little bits and pieces all over the place. Muchly performative and much more flexible than people think. So keep it in flux (which I do sometimes) and it might just wake people up to things.
A little.
Maybe.
There is, indeed, hope. I hope.