Picked this up from HPS…what’s my ‘dating persona’?
Oh joy I’m:
The Manchild
Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLD)Hopeful. Awkward. Soft-headed. Fire intrigues you. You are The Manchild.
Okay, Manchildren have some good qualities. They can be unpredictable, brash, magnetic–and therefore highly charismatic. Particularly, you’re passionate and are often a hell of a lot of fun.
Your exact male opposite:
The Bachelor
Deliberate Gentle Sex MasterBut we’d like you to consider not using OkCupid. You can be unthinking and hurtful, and we think you LIKE seeing bad things happen. You’ve had a moderate number of relationships, but broken a disproportionate number of hearts. In total, you mean well, but don’t really have it together.
It’s up to you, of course, whether to continue dating. There are plenty of women out there who do deserve you. But you’ve heard our advice.
If you stay…
ALWAYS AVOID: The Dirty Little Secret (DGSM)CONSIDER: The Sudden Departure (RBLM).
Bollocks.
On the plus side, Manchild is an awesome album by Herbie Hancock (Hang Up your Hang Ups is the opening track…and it’s one of his most lively bouncy and cheerful tracks….and that’s saying something).
But yeah, apparently I’m an emotional infant.
Personally, I think a couple of questions were heavily leading. Plus I don’t agree with the Brutal part. But I may be wrong on that.
Anyway, I’m sure these things are all bullshit. Last week I was Buddha, today I’m a Manchild. Tomorrow I’ll probably be Burt Reynolds or some shit.
Yeah, I’m down today. Not only do I feel like I’m doomed to a lonely life of painful and screwed up relationships, but the internets is telling me that I’m right.
Bollocks.
Seriously, this is an online dating site that’s telling me I shouldn’t be using their services. I just got de-advertised by a Viral meme (of sorts). I’m being told not to give them money.
My capital is no longer welcome with these capitalists.
That shit is fucked up.
Anyway, as always, it’s the questions (and the answer) that are most interesting about these quizzes. That’s what made the ‘which Deity are you’ one so cool. It had great questions, so you couldn’t predict the outcome (and therefore couldn’t pick your answers to get the thing you wanted…which I think people do subconsciously even if they’re trying not to).
The one that surprised me…that is…my answer surprised me was:
What sort of relationship is most appealing to you:
Conventional
Chaotic
I picked chaotic, rather unexpectedly, and instantly realised it was probably true.
On one level, I love the idea of just having someone to cuddle up with, someone to hold and stay in with. One of my million dirty little secrets is that I adore Romantic Comedies. With a passion. And I want someone to sit at home eating Ice Cream with me and watching that shit. I want to feel warm and affirmed at the end, not lonely and suicidal.
So I do want something conventional. I’d like dates and romance and valentines and all those other couply ephemra.
But not as much as I want wild craziness. Not as much as I want someone who understands that I’m on the edge of madness and doesn’t mind helping me toe that particular line. I want a relationship full of strange excitement. I want fun, games and shenanigans. I want that kind of flying in your face passion and bizareness.
And I think that’s why I’ve had the relationships I’ve had…each increasing in trauma and upset, but also with more and more magic moments. Tighter bonds and fits. More strangeness, more people slightly scared by the mere fact of our being.
More incredibly weird dreams. (I was having my eyelids pulled by bees when I woke up this morning….previously I’ve been eaten by a giant vagina and screamed at a girlfriend about towels (it was a metaphor for the fact that she’d left me for another (better than me) lady…at least that’s the theory) whilst being told that it’s all my fault (it was)).
I think that’s all part of the fun.
Well…okay, maybe not the trauma and the pain….I regret allll of that…I cry when I think about the pain I’ve caused, and sometimes it feels like that’s only a fraction of the pain that’s been caused to me.
Maybe I really am an emotional idiot. It would make a lot of sense. I certainly screw things up pretty big when I screw them up.
I’ve definitely been accused of lacking empathy (I think I do…not entirely, but at least a little bit). Plus I know I’m self absorbed (I’ve got a blog after all).
So maybe I really am destined to screw everything up.
What do I have to learn?
Everything maybe.
But then, people always tell me I’m a nice person. I think of myself as being considerate (except when drunk…which is one reason why I’m trying to stop drinking so much) and I really really fucking care about all my friends, and that’s a lot of people. I really love the people around me. I’m quite free with my love in general. I really care, and will forgive most crimes. Is that not nice?
But sometimes it seems to all go out the window in relationships….like I unlearn everything that the real world has taught me.
Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I just think too much.
My head is a jumbled mess. I think on too many different things at once. Right now I’m trying to parse some insane music, peer into my inner soul, work out all my problems, remember what love really means to me, decide what to have for breakfast, figure out some time to do a bit of writing, work out an idea for a screenplay and think about how to make an analysis for looking at female oppression from a robotic perspective without getting too preachy or obvious.
And that’s not even a full run down of one moment.
It’s one of my talents, and my curse, I can always keep so many threads open, but I need all of them. I can’t focus as well as I’d like.
Hence my general state of confusion and jumping from topic to topic on this blog. One thought starts a million others, and I try to grab hold on to all of them. The problem is I’m quite good at grabbing hold of a hella lot of them. This leaves me in a perpetual state of information overload.
No wonder I like Breakcore and walks in the parks.
And no wonder I, like my relationships, tend to fall apart in enormous messy heaps.
Just for the record…for some reason…I’m not quite as incredibly depressed as I sound.
I’m not entirely sure why….I’m pretty sure I should be.
Ah well.
C’est la vie.
I came out as the Boy Next Door – Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLD).
Despite being in a place where relationship-type stuff is the last thing on my conscious mind, I thought that was a highly thought-provoking quiz.
Questions that suprised me:
- Relationships require compromise. Whose? Yours.
- Would you ever completely cut someone off as a way to break up with them? Yes.
So, I’m a self-sacrificing bastard. Who’s also quite nice, in a not particularly manly way.
Nice.
i have to agree: Bollocks.
this is why – you are right when you say it could change by the day, and that the questions are loaded. i have taken this test before and gotten wildly different results. i want somewhere in between a lot of the dichotomous answers they provide.
Who would’ve thought that there’s problems with reducing human behaviour to a sequence of four binary oppositions.
It’s that Donnie Darko ‘Love Vs Fear’ scale all over again.
Hey Al,
You know, I think it is hard to find passion without the craziness. Sure, we all want the warm fuzzy stuff, but without intense passion it gets boring after a while. At least, it’s been that way for me. How does one find passion in a relationship without all the insanity? If you have the answer, I’d like it, please. ;)
WC
I think that’s the point…but it’s more than just insanity (though that’s a pretty big thing) it’s the pure mess of it all.
I think life’s impossible without insanity…or perhaps life is insanity…or not.
I wouldn’t know…I’ve never really had my feet on the ground.
Easier to fly that way.
C’mon now, don’t be so hard on yourself. “Manchild” is redundant anyway!
Yes, you are thinking too much about this and being way too hard on yourself. It’s just an online quiz. Which I am now about to steal. I’m Maid of Honour, btw.
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Rain…don’t you call me oxymoronic damn you. I resist the stereotype.
Az, thanks.
However, it says nothing I don’t think of myself sometimes anyway. I have had a string of ‘difficult’ relationships…and there is evidence that it’s all my fault.
On the other hand….sometimes I’m lovely, and other times I think I’m great.
The benefit of mood swings and mania is that you’re never bored and you don’t have to worry about getting stuck in a rut.
Having said that, recently, I’ve been stuck in a bit of a rut.
But yeah…thanks…I know I’m not really a screw up and I know I’m a caring loving induhvidual with plenty going for me.
Now all I need to do is find a good sturdy club.
I’ve tried twice to collect my results, but when i get to the end where you can register your details with ‘okcupid’ it keeps just taking me back to the same page that requires me to fill in my city and and the three words i’d use top describe myself! Did anyone else have this problem and could i have some help? or am i being dumb? Fecking irritating!!
Fanny’s been having the same problem. I don’t get it. I do know that I didn’t put anything at all in the one where it asks for you details. But yeah, some kind of lameness going on, and it’s not just you. Seems really stupid, especially as I reckon that question bears little on your actual results (surely only certain words could trigger it…and most of us are so unpredictable we’d never pick the trigger words)>
So yeah…I don’t know what’s up.
Sozzle
I did this a while back. I am The Wild Rose (RBLD) so snap! I was amused by it.
ah, it’s alright now, i found a zip code and used that instead and now okcupid thinks i’m a yank (is that a very offensive term nowadays?). Well i am the window shopper (RGLD) which i think i fairly accurate and also rather depessing, but i think being told what you know you already are is often a downer, cus one is what one is (i am what i am. I could insert a Red Dwarf quote here, but i won’t as it wont be exact) and unless you have a labotomy or can actively change who you are (which i don’t think can be really done. other people can generally see through fakeness or sense something wrong with the person whose being untrue to themselves i reckon) you’ve gotta deal with it.
These quiz things are silly really. I mean not only am i a window shopper, i’m also a Leo, a rat, and the erection that rubs against you in a lift (when it comes to unwanted sexual gestures). I see them as a way of us attempting to make sense of ourselves and life and of catagorising so we fit in certain boxes. When i was a bit younger i would judge other people and put them into certain sections that i’d formed in my brain. And the world WAS a lot clearer and simpler then. Since then i’ve learned that their are no strict rights and wrongs in life, no rules that if you like someone they’ll definitely return the affection, for example, so their is less direction, no rules, which, on the one hand, is great, but also makes finding your ‘soul mate’ or whatever, a lot more like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Personally, i use them as a way of getting to know myself, what i want, and how to get it rather than an answer to the mystery of why my love life’s so non-existent (i think someone said something similar up there). On the topic of chaotic vs conventional, i’d pick chaotic everytime, in life as well as love, not all the time obviously or life would become like Eastenders! When i came to live in bton, something in day to day life was absent. At my family home i was used to daily arguements, confusion, adults and children coming and going – general, chaotic hubbub. Living with a few people my age was just too easy, too quiet, and anyway, that’s when i realised chaos was so much more my bag. But for me, as far as boy-girl ‘relationships’ go, ideally it would have to be chaos within the context of a trusting,strong, lasting coupling. But i guess that’s what a decent ‘relationship’ is – i wouldn’t know as i’ve never had one – i tend to shag rather than ‘date’, it’s not a bad thing as far as it goes but makes it difficult to form a long term bond.
This is long. Where am i going with it. Well basically, excitement and chaos, whether it be happy or sad is better than no fun or rocking-of-the-boat at all i reckon. But then i would say that cus the grass is always greener (I just remembered how shit it is to have your heart breaking). Doesn’t that suck.
@ Kali….you get Wild Rose and I get Manchild with the same results. That seems unfair….your’s sounds romantic and beautiful and mine sounds deficient and inadequate…and then I get told not to use OKcupid.
Bastards.
@Eclair
I always think the questions are much more interesting than the results. Good questions are excellent…even when they tell you more about the person who made the quiz (and the set of prejudices built into them by society blah blah blah) than about you. (Though like I say…I do surprise myself).
And for the record….I wasn’t looking to find out why I’m dooooomed in relationships…I knew that when I started…I just got it spelled out in words I don’t like. Like you say….being told what you already know is often baaad.
I personally think you could do with making your chaos more varied. Go and have some wildness in new directions without thinking so much about getting laid. I know it’s hard when your horny (heaven knows I know) but if you just open yourself up a little more (not like that) then there’ll be hundreds of hunks hanging round your door.
But what do I know. I fall in love for people it’ll never work with and when I find someone it does work I sabotage it (subconsciously supposebly) to ensure there’s no risk of happiness.
Chaos is my middle name.
Well..it would be if I could afford to change it.
Currently it’s Edward.
Which might be Latin for chaos…I’m not sure.
The Wild Rose Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLD) shmolorful, but unpicked. You are The Wild Rose. Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you’re the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling. You don’t seem to take yourself too seriously, and that’s refreshing. You aren’t uptight; you don’t over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn’t a top priority–a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven’t had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You’re very selective. Your exact female opposite: The Dirty Little Secret Deliberate Gentle Sex Master The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You’re out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone. “You’re never truly single as long as you have yourself.” ALWAYS AVOID: The Bachelor (DGSM) CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail (RBLM). Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid – free online dating.
consider the vapor trail. haha. excellent
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Yay this is the post that made me stay in your blog!
Sorry for my commment flooding, I’ve been blog-deprived for the last days and I react by doing the entire opposite thing.
Ha, that’s fine, gives my blog stats a pretty boost.
One more hit and I hit 25k.
Wow, great. I’m pretty far from that. Good job. :P