The Changing of the Calendar

So, the official new year is fast approaching (an hour and twenty minutes for those few people who live on the right (or wrong) side of the international date line) and I’m overwhelmed with underwhelmedness.

See, I’ve already thought of this year as the new year since post solstice. And aside for drunken antics, I feel like things are changing.

And that’s the point of this whole cyclic thing. We look back and we look forward on these recognisable dates. Generally we also get pissed.

It’s been a busy year for me. It feels like it’s been the longest of my life, but then, they always do.

I remember climbing up a hill in Wales in socks and sandals on the first of January, and since then I’ve been working, promoted, breaking up and experimenting, flurries and shenanigans, foxes and moons, repentance and relapses.

Swings and Roundabouts. All the time, round and round and back and forward.

But I feel (not for the first time) change a’coming. I’ve got a goal for January. I’ve got to survive (after tonight, I’ll have spent most of my months wages, which got paid ahead of Christmas in order to ensure that January is the coldest, hardest month no matter how you plan things out.

Anyway, that’s a good excuse to reduce/stop drink intake for a while, which might hold up, if I’m lucky. Then I’ve got a story to write. I’ve got an idea for the Clockwork Jungle thing that’s going on over Shimmer way (thanks to whoever linked to this, I’ve forgotten the link I’m afraid, and I feel bad, but you led me to something, which is nice). It’s kind of an experiment to see how well and I can actually write something and get it ready for publishableness to criteria. I know vaguely what I want to write about, and I don’t think it’ll win, but I think it’s a challenge I need to undertake.

So that’s something.

But yeah, behind, it’s been a busy, strange and often painful year, with lots of happiness. There’s still loads of people I love in my life, and that can only be grand.

And ahead. I’m hoping for progress, change, renewal and strength.

And that balance thing I’m always going on about.

I want to attack T’ai Chi with renewed vigour, actually practising regularly. I want to write more often, more creatively, and I want to value people and experiences more, and getting drunk less.

I mean, in principle, I say the same things every year, which I think is the whole problem with the new year resolution theory. We remember back to things we didn’t manage to do each year (unless we pick small measurable targets, which I never do), and that creates malaise and a lack of motivation.

But that’s silly, because actually, what we need is not resolutions, but just time to think about what we want. Work it out, take time, learn and educate yourself. Look at possibilities, and, as the I Ching persistently tells me, step boldly into the river.

Life is for living, every day, not just at the beginning or end of the year.

I’m going to have a night tonight. I don’t expect it to be incredible, but I’m going to make sure I’m with people I love. That’s almost always what matters. Then get out and make life work for you.

Whatever that means.

Peas, Gloves, and a happy new day, month, season, year, life for all.

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