Huh - what?
Well.
Yesterday, I woke up, naked as usual. And I listened to In Rainbows, whilst lying in bed.
The whole morning (when I was supposed to be being productive) was devoted to ‘pleasures of the flesh’.
Not how it sounds. Honest.
Basically, I just lazed around naked listening to music.
I, and I don’t often believe this, am really fucking sexy. I looked down at myself, and I saw these curves and shapes that are just, ludicrously hot. The body is incredible, all these lithe bends and twists. The movement is all there.
Now, I’m pretty lumpy, I’ve got a belly, and hair coverage is disordered and not particularly neat and tidy. But that don’t matter.
Serious, when I’m naked, I think I’ve got it. I don’t often think that, but yesterday made me feel that way.
And the best thing about it, is that, for the first time in ages, it wasn’t because someone found me sexy, it wasn’t because I was the object for someone’s arousal and excitement, it was because my body looked great to me.
No need to dress up, just my sexy hips, my curvy legs, and my skinny arms.
I know, it don’t sound like much, and it ain’t.
But it’s enough.
(If my syntax seems odd, it’s because I’m listening to various bits of hip hop, which tends to change me physically and mentally. Funny that.)
So I danced around my room. Naked, thrusting like some kind of rock star wannabe. I sung and I danced and I enjoyed myself.
Fucking a man.
Anyway, the menstrual part is just because Fanny is here and menstrual, so I’m making her dinner. Nothing to do with anything really, I just needed a rhyme.
So the advice for the day, is get naked (on your own, and no funny stuff…well…I guess that’s up to you actually) and look at yourself with a smile. Don’t see the faults, see the fucking raw sexiness of the body. Dance and enjoy it. If I’m sexy, then you must be sexy.
Serious.
This evening I am tired and I have a faint feeling like I’m on hallucinogens. I really crave sensual experience. Tactility is maximised. I want to put my head in the rain and feel cold.
I crave touching.
This whole thing sounds rude, but it isn’t. I’m just very alive right now, as I mentioned last time.
But yeah, a cold pane of glass against your cheek, fabric running over your neck, hard wood on the feet. Extremes and textures, gradients and changes. It’s good to feel them.
I’m trying to cling on to the image of me as sexy. And the arousing (not like that) nature of the world around me just makes everything seem more real and amplified at the moment.
Strange times maybe. Something in the air is thick with emotion right now. I can feel it wrapped around me, and that’s in my drafty bedroom.
Weirdness abounds I say.
Stay sexy.
—————-
Now playing: Sneaky - Bejuida [foobar2000 v0.9.4.3]
via FoxyTunes
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Autoerotica?
Well, if it works for you…
(Oh, and I think that House of Cards may very well be my track of 2008.)
“I, and I don’t often believe this, am really fucking sexy.”
Haha, that made me laugh.
Although, I know what you mean. I myself have done that. I’m an average kind of girl, but there are moments when I think I’m fucking hot, and even hotter when there are no clothes and nothing else that disturbs the feeling.
There’s nothing sexual involved in that moment. It’s just an awesome feeling.
Justin,
Missing the point maybe, but yeah. And we didn’t listen to that in 2008 ;) (Injoke, for anyone else reading).
Asuka,
Hitting the nail on the head.
I think most people are hot, they just need to learnt to look at themselves in the right light. Then, I hear, it starts to radiate off you. Maybe. Anyway, it’s great to feel good about yourself, and I spend so much time being self critical, that I figured I owed it to myself to tell everyone that sometimes, even to me, I am gorgeous.
Now I just need to persuade everyone else to see me in that light. (I think I’m joking).