Happy Fucking Day - Load of Bullshit
That’s about it.
As you can probably tell, I’m not particularly pro valentine’s day. Even though this year, for once, I’ve actually got someone to be cynical about it with (who’s visiting today, and I haven’t seen ‘em for over a month, which is lovely).
I like the fact that yesterday I saw loads of guys walking around with bunches of flowers, and loads of people came into the shop at the lie berry and bought cards, but at the same time, it just makes me think about how unoriginal people are. It seems like this drudgery. Everyone must make the effort on this day or face the wrath of the love god (or the partner, depending on how the local hierarchy goes).
In the mean time, any one who’s not got someone to love, they get mopey as the world flips to obsession.
It is, essentially, nonsense.
If you love someone (and I love just about everyone), you should tell ‘em as often as possible. Every time you make contact, ideally. You should do it in tiny ways, wordless ways, grand ways, and huggy ways (especially huggy ways), and you should do it every single time.
Cards, flowers, expensive presents. They all rot away, but a hug lasts forever. And words and memories matter.
I want my memories to be unique to me, not all about sitting in a crowded restaurant packed with similar enforced liasons.
So what I say is, give the people you love a big hug and a kiss, tomorrow. And the day after, and maybe even every day for the rest of your life.
Because there’s nothing special about today.
I’m going to Southampton today, to learn about arts workshopping for young people. This will be interesting, but it does mean I’m awake miles before my usual last minute dash. So I’d better go get ready, before I lose my head start.
Much love, hugs and kisses for all of you. Now and forever.
(See, I can’t even write a big cynical whinge without turning into a sentimental twat. Bum, poo and willy to all.)
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ideally on valentines day you’d wanna stay in bed all day showing your love to your loved one and then get a takeaway showing your love of the others stomach and get them to pay for it thereby them showing their love of your stomach. but then i like food and sex, and this should be done at any given opportunity, not just feb 14th.
it would disappoint me greatly if i was with someone who bought me a teddy from co-op with a heart in its hands {which is actually a lot darker than we all seem to realise}, i’d be insulted that they hadn’t been able to at least think of something a little bit original, if they wanted to spend money at all I mean.
i think somewhere beneath my cynical exterior there is a romantic, but it would be hard to melt through, it would have to be done in such a finely tuned way..almost to the point where i didn’t notice it was happening, for it to be revealed. Jesus, I sound like a cold hearted bitch. Ach. Does anyone wanna buy me some flowers?
It’s funny how most of the women I know are far less romantic than the men…is it just because its what women are supposed to want so the men do romantic things for them or because the men want to express their love in romantic ways? Huh? I sound like effing Carrie Bradshaw. *lights up a fag and tosses her long hair whilst crossing her legs and gazing out at the city*
[...] 45th day of the year DISCLAIM-ERE - what follows is actually a comment I left on Mr Crippens’ [...]
“You should do it in tiny ways, wordless ways, grand ways, and huggy ways (especially huggy ways), and you should do it every single time.” Bloody spot on. That’s how I know Mr BC loves me. If he had to tell me he loved me when Hallmark Cards told him to and I believed he didn’t if he… well.. didn’t there’d be something pretty severely wrong! We have NOT valentines day, the day after or before… when we remember. Because we think it’s just an excuse for the haves - as in a relationship - to gloat over the have nots… well perhaps it’s not but that’s all it is at school, a big stick for the pretty girls who had loads of boyfriends because they looked nice - even though they were shitty people who made untold people’s lives (mine included) a waking nightmare - to beat the rest of us over the head with.
Cobblers!
Bah humbug!
Arse!
Cheers
BC
Rowan, I someone buys the cold hearted bitch inside of you some flowers.
To be honest, you don’t sound cold hearted, you sound much more pro romance than my anti Valentine’s day stance, really, you just shield it all in witty repartee (if that’s the right word..I’m not sure…I keep thinking it just means meal, but that’s just because repas if french for meal…maybe….I’m having enough trouble trying to use my own language right now, dipping into another seems a little outre).
Ahem. But thanks for making me laugh, a lot, often.
BC,
I actually felt a bit bad on the day itself, because I whinged to my friend Denial, about what a load of bollocks it was…whilst clearly grinning my face off (literally, I spent the evening smiling so much you actually couldn’t see my chin). See, he was a have not, and I, was overjoyed, because my have (it’s hard to talk about relationships, even in the early, light sense of the word, without using possessive, language…I take issue) had finally got back into the country and was visiting, and we came clean to the people we were scared of telling, and nobody tried to eat us or anything, and it’s been a lovely weekend, and we’ve been with each other loads, and its lovely and I’m happy and it’s lovely to be happy, and spending time with people who make you happy is lovely especially when they’re lovely and you feel lovely being happy with the happy lovely people.
Ahem.
But yeah. I felt bad because I was describing it as bollocks when I was clearly all ‘loved up’. But like I said, it’s because that’s a feeling, not a greeting card. It’s not for one day, its for every day…and I’m still glowing now, even stuck at work with a face full of cathode and a stomach full of hunger.
I’ll try and calm down a little.
But yeah, love doesn’t have to be at the expense of other people. You shouldn’t glorify in it just to make others feel bad, and Valentine’s day can reek of that.
So, even days later, carry on loving, not just the obvious loved ones…the partners and the lovers and what not…but also everyone else. The friends, the strangers, the unusual and the special, wherever they are and however you find them.
Definite overexercise of the romantic/cornball/cheesy pie muscle here…but what’s wrong with that (except for sentiment so cloying it’ll probably choke your arteries and lead to heart disease in later life….how ironic).
Happy not valentines day year to all of you, lets make it a great 364 (or however many it is) days yeah?
Peace and love.
*hugs back* i spent v day loving myself. :)
I did the same than sulz!
Maybe it’ll become a new tradition for us anti valentines!
I don’t know how weird all that turned to be in your mind. Enjoy anyway.
The same thing that queered Christmas has queered Valentine’s Day and every other holiday. It’s crass commercialism. Having spent 2 weeks or more being bombarded at every turn on radio, in newspapers and in magazines, on TV in magazines and, of course, in blogs to go out and buy, buy, buy - I simply wrote nothing at all in silent protest.
I give gifts spontaneously. My friends and family all know better than to pander me with obligatory gifts connected with specific dates. I never ever give them on the expected days. I give them to whomever I please on what ever day I please. And, I wish more people would have enough courage to resist the bullshit advertising and do the same.
It seems all of you are definitely in the right spirit.
And when I say love is for all year round, it’s even truer when we’re talking about love of self.
So keep it up y’all.
Is it cute when an eight-year-old does it?
The go-between was his three yr old brother who could only say ‘Happy, Happy’. First he sent the card, then chocolate second time around. And he calls her his girlfriend.
See, it would worry me if this happened to my eight yr old daughter but right now it’s cute. And my nephew’s quite harmless.
It’s harmless probably, but it can be worrisome. I always find it strange that kids that young even understand, but that’s mostly because my understanding of relationships at that age was entirely non-existent. Though I did have a patch where I hung out with a group of older girls who apparently thought I was ‘cute’ and put up with me. I remember deciding that girls were much nicer that smelly boys, and attempting to be accepted as one of them. The root of my gender conflusion? Who knows.
Well, he’s a sensitive little chap and a great communicator, was always good with relationships so I’m not worried. In fact pretty impressed by his emotional intelligence, or something they call it. It’s a rare and pleasant thing to see. Basically uncorrupted by adult shit.