Re Gressive
I feel like this weekend was mostly about stepping backwards.
Lots of heavy silly unneccesary drinking. Lots of negative mind states.
And now I feel like shit. Throat is dying. That feeling is slowly spreading outwards to my head and the rest of my body.
This isn’t the hangover, this is something else. I’ve caught something, and it’s not doing me good.
My brain feels less able to get ready for work, I feel unable to achieve right now.
On the cultural front, I feel positive about the new Four Tet, Why? and Mugison albums. I’ve played the new Penny Arcade game and got slightly further in the (behind the times) GTA San Andreas binge of the last two weeks.
In short, I have nothing to say. Things are falling apart, but not fallen apart yet. I feel like I’m on the brink of something bad, and I’m knowingly stepping backwards into it.
I don’t know what I’m cowering away from but I can’t help myself.
I’m going to fall off.
On the up side, the new Four tet album is a bit like having a bath and sounds nothing like four tet. The new Mugison album is rocky and bluesy and nothing like Mugison. The new Why? album is epic, sprawling, broad, messy, thrilling and nothing like the reviews gave it credit for. Less indie pop than the last one, more boistrously structured than the first one.
It’s all good. It’s all good.
‘cept I’m not.
call me a little masochistic, but I somehow like the days where I feel like I and life in general are disintegrating, but it has not started yet. it’s a bit like waiting for christmas, only the other way around, if you know what I mean.
On the positive note, while you might be falling apart, at least you will have good music to do it with, so life ain’t all bad. Seriously though, I have been getting a strange vibe lately too, can’t quite place it, but excited to see what is going to happen next….
if the long term looks bleak, don’t look past your nose!
Phantomias
2 June 2008
“if the long term looks bleak, don’t look past your nose!”
Freaking best piece of advice, ever.
crazyasuka
3 June 2008
It is very good music. And if it can’t make my life feel better, then it’s probably not worth it.
It’s working right now, but my mind is railing against it. Weird headspace. But good to see you here, s’been a long time. And thanks.
And asuka’s right. But I don’t know how well I take it on board.
I think that’s the best way to face forward and keep on moving though. And then by the time you get there, if you’ve kept moving, then things will’ve changed.
Or something.
Needs more thinking about. Or perhaps just more doing.
Alabaster Crippens
3 June 2008
Phantomias has put it far more eloquently than I can. Just keep going and trust me, you’ll wake up one morning and find that everything is peachy!
In the meantime, look on it as the variety of living. the more crap you live through, the stronger and more confident you get.
When it goes tits up I pretend my life is a film. It’s like you know you’re strong enough so you just step back, hang in there and wait to see how it all turns out! That probably sounds incredibly trite but it works for me! Writing about it can be pretty theraputic, too.
Hope you feel better soon.
Cheers
BC
babychaos
3 June 2008
I like the film idea. I mean, whn things are bad in a film you know it’s all going to pick up, so you just wait. It almost makes the bad bits the best (like Phantomias says about the reverse christmas).
Anticipation.
Might be to early for that yet, but what the hell.
Alabaster Crippens
3 June 2008
[...] A while ago, someone wrote this in a comment at Alabaster’s [...]
Giving up « The World According to Me
13 June 2008