Who am I?

A lot has changed since I last updated this. But I like keeping the old log.

I’ll keep this short.

I appear to be an enquiry wrangler these days. Answering questions despite not believing in answers. I do it for a living, and for a hobby over at Unstruck.

I now pretty much identify as genderqueer, and enjoy my space in the middle a lot of the time. It can be hard work, but it’s the me that’s happiest with myself, so I stick with it. I am still hairy and smelly.

This blog doesn’t update very often, because I have newer projects and this one became too self indulgent.

It hasn’t worked much though, I am still pretty self indulgent.

I want to build a future, but I don’t know how.

I still don’t know what’s going on.

Take a look around, but don’t judge me on things I said five years ago. Or five minutes ago, for that matter.

Everything’s a process, or a journey, or a movement.

And I seem to keep on moving.

 

 

*** For more posterity***

So, apparently people actually look here, and it was one of the first things I wrote, so I don’t know how well it fits in with all of my other jam.

Anyway, the enigmatic shroud has probably faded for most of the dedicated readers, and perhaps people actually want to know more about me. I mean…that’s why they come here right? To find out shit about me?

That’s why you clicked this button right? Or were you asking who you were…well…I don’t know….I’m interested though…please feel free to tell me in the boxes below…I seem to get more hits than I deserve, and I am intrigued by all these strangers who know shit about me (sometimes shit that good friends don’t know….though only because they haven’t asked).

Anyway, preserved below is the enigmatic original of answer, but now, as I figure I ramble on assuming people know who I am already, here are a few key features of me.

I am hairy. That is, I have a beard and long curly hair (shoulder length when dry, much longer when wet or straightened). I’ve got a cute ass and beautiful bright blue eyes. Well, I think it’s cute, and I hope they’re beautiful.

Otherwise I generally hate my pot-bellied appearance. But that’s not an issue for here.

I am not quite WASP, having been raised Catholic with distinct heretical tendencies as I grew up. Now I remain defiantly agnostic, with a fondness for Taoist philosophy.

I am a guy. Contrary to popular belief and misunderstanding. I like to talk about feminism a lot, and I don’t think my biological sex is important, so I have tried to be gender neutral. I don’t know if this is less obvious now, but there has been confusion, and…well…yeah. I’ve got all the man parts and none of the lady parts.  I occasionally drag up a little, but only to attempt to unsettle gender boundaries (at the risk of boring most of you half to tears, I do tend to claim myself a gender abolitionist…a culture of inequality exists and is hard to challenge unless we actually acknowledge a much wider spectrum of possibilities of behaviour for everyone. Men are oppressed by gender politics just as much as women….just in totally different ways.)

Anyway, I love music, I DJ, I read, I write, I occasionally make tunes, and have a mild passion for techy toys. I am a big fan off open and frank discussion about sex, and think that most people have an unhealthy attitude to it, partly caused by a lack of openness. Having said that, I’ve never really written about it explicitly on here….I guess I’m worried about offending or scaring people off. Maybe one day I’ll grow out of that.

I tend to talk more than I do, but am working to correct this.

Some interesting things to learn about me showed up at various points throughout this experiment, either try digging with the random tool (labelled Stir it Up and positioned to the right) or you might like to start with some weird, and some musical exposition.

Anything else important?

Well, I’ve dealt with the death of people close to me (including the sudden, unexpected death of one of my oldest friends, much to young and one of the brightest lights I’ve ever seen) and a couple of internal breaks from reality. One caused by drugs, and one, more worryingly, caused by nothing discernable.

I have yet to seek the counselling I probably need, but I like to think of it all as having made me stronger. My mind has fallen apart a couple of times and I’ve put it back together in an order that still works.

Like MacGyver for the soul.

Or something.

Any questions? There’s a good few answers here, here and here. But anything more is welcome.

Erm….I’m running out of steam…but yeah….that’s some stuff about me.

Enough?

**For Posterity**

Can’t say I’m entirely sure. If you don’t know then you probably don’t need to. Suffice to say that I live in Brighton in the UK, and have an interest in a lot of things…different things…things from all sorts of different places. I write for a couple of different things at different times. You can probably find more about me on the web by looking for Alabaster Crippens, as I try to keep the same identity in many different forums. Having said that, some poor fool could be pretending to be me for their own perverted reasons (I mean why? What does my imagined entity/avatar/character/personality/identity have that others don’t? A penchant for obscenity and sexual deviance on a scale that seems extreme in the real world but actually nothing compared to most of the stuff on this godforsaken wasteland we call the interweb? A completely unimaginative take on things that attempts to be alternative but in fact just ends up being boring? A cool name that isn’t actually that cool and kind of makes no sense to anyone but me? A false androgyneity that doesn’t actually come across most of the time? A set of ideologies that possess an incoherence that can only be matched by their inconsistency? Why would you bother?) so maybe you can’t trust me or anybody else. God I love the internet….only humanity could manage to come up with a beast even more unreliable, dangerous, misleading and perverted than regular human society.

Anyway, If the above explains anything about me then you’re probably missing the point. We’ll probably figure out what my interests and personality is like as time goes by, it might take a while, but we’ll get there together, you and me (or me and me..as I increasingly suspect will actually be the case). So I guess you’ve just wasted your time coming and reading this page anyway…though you’ve wasted less time reading than I have writing, so I win…Fuck you.
Whatever, I never really cared anyway.