Just did some washing up and had to give up halfway through because I got too sad.
What is it about the mundane everyday tasks that occasionally just bring home the meaninglessness of everything.
Suddenly I felt trapped and surrounded by a hundred million things wrong with my life. A thousand happinesses that I’ve missed out on [...]
So, aside from an excuse to put on a miniskirt and a sequin garter (thanks rowan) and develop a majestic hangover (majestic seemed to be the word of the day, apparently) I actually spent alot of the day enoying the sun and getting inspired. Spent a lot of time that I should have been working [...]
I feel like this weekend was mostly about stepping backwards.
Lots of heavy silly unneccesary drinking. Lots of negative mind states.
And now I feel like shit. Throat is dying. That feeling is slowly spreading outwards to my head and the rest of my body.
This isn’t the hangover, this is something else. I’ve caught something, and it’s [...]
Woke up streaming with tears. I’d been crying in the dream.
It was a strange dream. A set of squatted underground catacombs with a castle and a narrow boat. I ran to save someone who’d killed themselves, but they were okay. They were still there, in tears. I helped her up and bought her back to [...]
Erm, I’m certainly a little freaked out by the almost entirely positive take on this particular news item.
I mean, think about it. Aren’t there just a few drawbacks to an easily accessible spray that will make people trust people even after they start doing things wrong.
I mean, come on. I’m all for trust and naivete, [...]
Here’s a surprise for everyone, some actual content.
I’m nearing the end of my first full length listen through of this, so it’s probably too early to make any kind of definitive end statement on this, but I’m enjoying it a lot. And it’s free, so you should listen to it. Because free stuff always represents [...]
Down. Need to moan.
I don’t like my new job. Totally unsatisfying and I feel trapped away from any opportunity to help and/or interact with people. Salaried alienation.
That and the Sea Witch has left me cast away and land locked. I’m still not entirely sure why. But I do understand in a way. If it’s not [...]
Courgettes swiftly became my favourite vegetables after I started cooking with them. So easy, and they’ve got great texture.
You can’t complain about a courgette, not least because they look vaguely rude but friendly, and the word rolls of the tongue in a similar fashion.
I’ve got some waiting to be added to the pot shortly. I [...]
Can’t take this constant shifting.
Don’t know what to deal with.
Everything is finding new ways to suck.
Not that bad really, but I have to make a big deal.
That’s who I am. Overblown exaggerated me.
Stuck. Fucked.
Sorry.
Kinda failing you.
Something’ll return.
Hope.
Fully.
After I had said my piece I quietly awaited her response. My eyes tried to pierce hers, wondering if I’d gone to far and should prepare my apology.
She stared.
I waited, my eyes softened and I found it hard to focus.
I had to maintain eye contact though. This was important. This meant something.
Something in her eyes [...]
Sure. Sounds fun. If everyone else is doing it. Why would I want to be left out?
Ahem.
Yeah. She started it.
In other news, I’m sad and lost but I don’t want to talk about it. At least not yet. However, I am also falling head over heels in awe with Miranda July. Possibly the loveliest stuff [...]
Morning full of massive anxiety dreams. Feel totally unrested, and it sounds like the world and it’s dog is doing DIY just outside my window.
Bastards.
That’s right, the new job starts tomorrow, and my unconscious has decided to just outright jump up and down and point out that it’s terrified.
Essentially I dreamed up an entire worst [...]
Stuck in work. This is the second to last shift at the internet place. The place is rammed, due to the Bank’s going on holiday. The only appreciable difference to me is more high pitched squealing all around, and a promise of ‘a bit more money’, on pay day. This is good as I’ve already [...]
Lying by my computer, idly reading, feeling sorry for myself (rotten throat and head…not good..intravenous orange juice and two dressing gowns over normal clothes, plus two duvets and a lot of laziness and cushions has been self prescribed and self administered) and dozily refreshing blog surfer, e-mail etc for the last hour or so.
Anyway, someone [...]
Gah.
Flood of posts in one day all rubbish.
I am totally disconnected from reality today. I feel like I’m not talking right. I just went for a walk to make sure the real world was still real, and it didn’t feel right out there. Or in here.
I think it’s my skin.
I’m having these bursts of energy [...]
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